Making a Difference in 3 Minutes – Taking Action to Help Someone with Alzheimer’s

As a caregiver for someone with dementia, it can often be difficult to know what action to take. We can sometimes worry that we’ll do the wrong thing, so instead of doing something… we may do nothing. Yet it’s important to never underestimate just how much good can be done by merely choosing to act. In the case of someone with dementia, taking action to help may only take a few minutes, but can have a powerfully positive effect, as I experienced myself one day.

I was working at a care home that day and around 4pm heard an agitated voice coming from the TV room. Everyone was watching a movie there, except for a gentleman (“Keith”) who was bellowing, “I need my money now! Tell them to sign it!” Two staff members were present but instead of trying to calm him, they just seemed annoyed. Perhaps this was because Keith behaved this way often, perhaps they assumed sundowning was to blame, or perhaps their inaction was due to their own confusion—whatever the case may be, it was clear to me that something had to be done, so I decided to give take some action.

I started with simply showing concern for Keith, by asking him, “Is everything okay? What’s going on?” As the two staff members watched, he began giving me clues about the reason for his outburst, speaking fervently about needing money for a contract. Then the light bulb came on! I knew Keith had once been a construction contractor and was likely reliving one of the many negotiations he had been involved in. So I chose to validate Keith’s concerns by saying, “Wow, I don’t blame you for being upset”. Next I used some Therapeutic Reasoning™. I asked him how much was owed to him and when he needed it by. Then in response to his answers, I said, “Well, today is Sunday, but I’ll do my best to get you answers by early next week.” (I was sure he had heard this kind of statement during his working career.)

Once Keith was reassured, I decided to distract him from the cause of his stress. I had a little travelling game with me in a pouch and told him I could use his help in understanding it. He began to read the instructions and then tried explaining them to me. “You’re really good at this kind of stuff!” I said, and we went on to have a brief chat about the game.

My time with Keith was only about 3 minutes, and by the end of that encounter I left knowing that Keith was calm, that he would be able to­­­ have a pleasant meal at dinner time, and that, by choosing to act, I had made a difference.  🙂